Although you need a support system to help you through this difficult time in your life, choose wisely. You might have a best friend but how much detail should you share? Or perhaps you’ve always been close to your family and turn to them for everything. But whether you think you’re likely to reconcile with your spouse or not, I recommend you avoid telling too many details, to your best friend, your family or anybody else.
Your loved ones will be biased in your favor. They will take your side no matter what, which is the reason you will go to them to talk. But when you tell them all about the affair, your spouse becomes their enemy.
Although your side of the story makes you the victim and your spouse the villain, there may be a time when you’re ready to reconcile. Now your loved ones will try to persuade you not to and may interfere. Even if they don’t, they have lost respect for your spouse and it will not be easy to change their opinion of him. Social gatherings will be uncomfortable. Family relationships may be damaged forever.
It’s good to acknowledge their love for you and their desire to help. Let them know you appreciate their concern and you’re willing to listen to their advice. Just don’t tell them any of the details and if they ask, politely tell them you have a lot of things to work through on your own before you’ll be ready to talk about that.
When you share information while under incredible emotional stress, you are likely to involve them in ways that you may later regret.
So don’t be hasty. You do need somebody to talk to, but you need somebody you can trust, somebody who knows what you’re going through and somebody who can help you get your head on straight before making any critical decisions.