He was in church every Sunday and Wednesday, teaching all the young kids about God.
He read his Bible every morning and prayed with his wife every evening.
He was teaching his kids daily about the importance of having a relationship with Jesus Christ and how to walk with Him.
He was in a position of authority at work and well thought of in the community.
All of the above statements were true about my husband.
But I was not aware of the following truths:
He was up at 3:00 am and gathering with strange women in chat rooms via the Internet and his computer.
He was having phone sex on his company cell phone during work hours.
He was viewing pornography online and masturbating when the rest of the family was out for the evening.
He drove by the college campus during breaks and admired the young females rushing to and fro.
Could all these statements be true about the same man?
Was he leading a double life and nobody else knew it?
How did he get away with it for so long?
Self-deception is the key ingredient in any addiction and it’s extremely hard to counteract. If you are the wife of a porn-addict, truth has to be your number one weapon.
How can you expose the sin and confront your husband with truth?
Start with understanding the methods he’ll use to distract you from the truth.
- Deliberate lying
- Blaming others
- Justifying behavior
Don’t take part in his secrets or his attempts to blur the truth. If you know your husband is doing something wrong, it’s your duty to expose the sin, not cover it up. Let him know you know and that you plan to seek intervention.
That does not mean you blurt it out to anyone who will listen. Discretion is absolutely critical, not to protect the sin, but the sinner and his family.
The porn addict will eventually get caught, but until then, he honestly believes he is in control. But he is blind to the truth.
Because he loves his sin so much, he is loyal to it above his loyalty to God and family. He will go to great lengths to continue with pornography, but his perverted habit will only lead him into trouble.
It can never satisfy his greatest needs.
Tough love is a vital part of the process. You need to explain to your husband that your love for him will not permit you to idly sit back and watch him ruin his life with his obsession with pornography.
Remind him that sexual sin breaks his fellowship with God and you are concerned that his relationship with God may not be genuine.
Most importantly, remind him that Jesus Christ is the only solution to his problem.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us,
in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us.
– Romans 5:8 –
Get step-by-step instructions that will help you:
Expose the sin
Explain the truth