Just as infidelity in marriage is about so much more than sex, so is intimacy.
When a couple is able to put God first and work together to rebuild their marriage for God’s glory, the healing can begin.
If the cheating spouse has truly repented and both spouses are ready to focus on healing after an affair, there are foundational principles in the Bible to help guide their path.
Intimacy in marriage is something “in” people that is worked “out” as expressions of love. So a quick study of Biblical love will point out God’s plan for sex.
Most intimacy problems do not involve sex in marriage, they involve self-centeredness.
The first step toward infidelity is a lack of gratitude. A person selfishly focuses on their own desires without recognizing how much God has already given him.
So, first of all, trust is gradually restored as the cheating spouse seeks opportunities to act selflessly. This must take place in and out of the marriage bed.
The unfaithful spouse must be patient and acknowledge that his spouse’s reservations are justified. It will require hard work, but above all, it requires time and compassion.
There can be no sense of “forcing” the relationship. The cheating spouse should recognize it was his sin that caused his spouse to not trust him. His goal is to restore trust by removing doubts. He should be open and willing to prove his whereabouts as a form of accountability.
As the offending spouse continues to humbly love and serve his betrayed spouse, trust is restored and both spouses can begin to be vulnerable again.
This is probably the biggest obstacle to overcome but once achieved, the husband and wife can experience a passionate intimacy far beyond their expectations.
Intimacy after betrayal is usually stronger than it was before the adultery took place.
Once a marriage has been fought for so zealously,
intimacy will intensify in power, permanence and passion.
In what ways can you love and serve your mate this week to make your relationship stronger? Leave a comment below.