Surviving infidelity in marriage is possible but there are a few obstacles that can not only prevent it, but also put your emotional well-being at great risk.
The first mistake you may have made is thinking YOUR marriage would never be counted in the “Infidelity in Marriage” statistics. It’s hard to get an accurate number, but it is estimated that as many as 60% of Americans participate in some form of infidelity at some time during their marriage.
I wish I could say that estimate did NOT include Christians but we all know better. Because we don’t suspect it, it is all the more shocking when we discover a cheating spouse.
Infidelity in marriage causes severe emotional trauma to the betrayed spouse. The first sword to pierce the heart is shock. Most people just can’t comprehend their spouse could do such a thing but especially, “How could you do such a thing to ME?” Once the astonishment wears off, anger usually replaces the disbelief. They take it very personal, as they should!
This emotional distress will cause your heart to hurt so intensely that you lose the ability to think straight. This is not the time to be making any important decisions, as they are more likely to be ruled by emotions rather than reason.
You should find somebody trustworthy, who you can share your feelings with without being judged. Family is usually NOT the best support system at first, as they will be almost as emotional as you. They will feed your anger when what you really need is somebody to just listen to you and acknowledge your feelings.
Dealing with infidelity in marriage should become your top priority in life. Too many people fall into a deep depression and in one way or another, react in some sort of denial. Denial can be deadly!
If your mate has cheated with another person, you may have been exposed to a sexually transmitted disease. I’ve heard many infidelity stories where people learned of their mate’s affair only because they suffered health problems and sought medical treatment. STDs and AIDS are just two of the potential signs of infidelity in marriage.
Maybe your spouse committed emotional infidelity in marriage with no physical contact with another person. Even pornography is considered amongst the popular types of emotional infidelity people engage in today. Our sex-crazed culture may promote pornography as a safe and valid manner of sexual gratification, but the Bible says otherwise. It is a form of sexual immorality.
I can say from personal experience, that I felt like my husband had participated in hundreds of affairs through pornography. Surviving emotional affairs will require just as much fortitude as actual physical, sexual affairs.
Ultimately, surviving infidelity in marriage will require intervention. You cannot forgive a person who is still cheating. There is nothing healthy about that and God does not condone such behavior or expect the betrayed spouse to either. If a cheating spouse is not willing to stop the affair, acknowledge that it’s wrong and work towards rebuilding a healthy marital relationship, the marriage is headed for ruin.
For the Christian marriage, there is hope. God has already graciously outlined the methods for intervention in the Bible. Christ has already paid the price for the sin of infidelity and will help the cheating spouse repent. Jesus offers comfort to the betrayed spouse and can provide healing.
God is very capable of helping you survive infidelity but even more so,
He wants to restore your marriage, for your good and His glory!
Your can appeal for this promise through prayer: “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten.” Joel 2:25
God is pleased to restore blessing to those who repent. Don’t try to survive infidelity without following God’s principles. If you need help to know how to confront your spouse, how to intervene and get help, check out the BEYOND BETRAYAL BLUEPRINT workshop at home.
MISTAKES TO AVOID IN SURVIVING INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE
Don’t Make Major Decisions While Hurt and Angry
Don’t Go Into A Mode of Denial
Don’t Condone Infidelity By Tolerance
Don’t Try To Survive Infidelity Alone
Don’t Violate God’s Principles For Confrontation and Intervention