A Christian wife’s response to a husband with a pornography addiction is significant. Not only in the way it affects her husband, but more essentially, how it affects herself.
Some women rage with anger, others go into a deep depression, and some try to do whatever possible to fix the problem. Usually, every woman reacts in all of these ways at one time or another. Regardless of the response, the goal is to regain a sense of calm and security.
Finding ways to overcome the emotional turmoil is instinctive.
As women created in God’s image, we desire to “take dominion” of our lives, but there are times when that can be more dangerous than beneficial.
When your spouse has betrayed you and disregarded the marriage, feelings of rejection are certain to upset you.
What are some of the WRONG ways you might attempt to soothe the pain?
- Changing the Offender
- Changing the Victim
This article will focus on the victim. Sadly, victims often permit themselves to be victimized again by blame shifting. Accepting responsibility for another person’s sin is basically false guilt.
It’s easy to get caught in the trap of “what if?”
“What if I looked different, what if I acted different, etc.?
Then he would accept me.”
You may be tempted to buy new clothes, get an updated haircut and lose 20 pounds. If those are things you want to do just to win back your spouse, you are doing them for the wrong reasons.
What if your husband strayed because you didn’t “act” like those women in the porn movies? Are you going to defile yourself just to win his favor? Don’t compare yourself to those “other” women.
It’s not wrong to want to please your mate.
It is wrong to PRETEND you are somebody else in an attempt to please him.
Check your motives. If you’re pretending to be someone you are not, STOP the charade. This pattern of pretending is what led your husband astray. Don’t follow that path.
Ultimately, you have to come to terms with the fact that your husband’s heart is the problem.
Not your personality, appearance, or performance.
No matter what, be yourself.
You are who you are by the grace of God and God does not make mistakes. He is transforming you into the image of Jesus. Don’t interfere with His work by trying to fix yourself. He accepts you just as you are and loves you with an everlasting love.
“He made us accepted in the Beloved.”
– Ephesians 1:6 –
There is nearly 90 minutes of video that deals specifically with REJECTION in the BEYOND BETRAYAL BLUEPRINT program.
It’s just one piece of a complete, step-by-step blueprint that helps Christian wives prepare for and confront their husband who has a pornography addiction.
Decide today to reject rejection and pornography in your marriage.