Most people with marriage problems that cause abnormal sexual behavior can trace their behavior back to the Garden of Eden.
Eve was deceived by the serpent because she wanted something more than God intended for her to have. She thought God was holding out on her. She didn’t trust Him and took matters into her own hands.
When Eve offered the forbidden fruit to Adam, he should have refused it. But worse yet, his real sin was in not protecting Eve from the serpent to begin with.
The same behaviors exist in people today. Men are being passive rather than being leaders. Women want more power because they don’t trust others.
Both of these failures to operate in the roles God designed for husband and wife, lead to relational problems, which of course have effects on sexuality.
“Without realizing it, people are distracted from true intimacy
because they bring emotional baggage from their past,
into their present relationships.”
A lot of this baggage is related to the world’s influence that confuses us about the nature of genuine masculinity and femininity. Biblical manhood and womanhood are constantly being challenged, and redefined. This leads to mistakes that are difficult to recover from.
Due to the culture’s promotion of sex without relationship, many of us carry painful baggage from previous sexual encounters.
Whether molested as a child, or engaging in premarital sex, many marriages today are infected with emotional distractions that people don’t even recognize. Very often, people enter into marriage without ever discussing these past experiences.
So more often than not, when a couple is having problems with intimacy, it can be traced to their past, but they are not aware that their history is an obstacle.
They are usually looking at current circumstances and problems. But attitudes that were formed long ago and have never been properly addressed are at the root of their problems.
Secrets, shame and guilt can be an invisible barrier between you and your mate.
You both deserve better and God promises to help you demolish any barriers that would hinder your marriage relationship.
Don’t allow confusion about male and female roles to persist.
- God reveals his design for each marriage partner. Study the scriptures and allow them to transform you.
Don’t let your past interfere with the present.
- If you have unresolved conflicts, you need to address them right away. Don’t let another day go by without asking God how to go about it. Talk with a trusted friend, pastor or Christian counselor for godly wisdom.
Be intentional about “relating” to your mate.
- It will cost you time and effort, but a strong marriage requires an investment. You don’t have a relationship if you are not “relating.”
Do whatever it takes to tackle your marriage problems head on and trust that God will help you.