Once the secret was out and I learned my husband had been involved in pornography for years, I made many mistakes trying to deal with this new knowledge. His sexual sin was rooted in a heart of idolatry. I soon learned my own heart had problems of its own.
One thing I regret is my numerous attempts at trying to fix the problem. It was so much bigger than I could comprehend. There was far more to the issue than I understood at the time and my flesh got in the way.
I was ignorant of so many things.
Most of all, how powerful the sin force is when combined with the devil’s influence, but also how insufficient I am to control life and all its uncertainties. My failed attempts at control led only to more problems.
I was in a hurry to get my life back to normal.
But God was more concerned about my heart and whether I would submit to Him and trust Him to take care of ALL the details of my life, including the sin in my husband’s heart that led to sinful sexual behavior.
I learned that when your pain is in the spotlight, Christ is no longer your focal point.
Self and the comfort of Self becomes your focus and you lose sight of the bigger picture and your relationship with God. God is no longer on the throne of your heart, you are. The only way to put and keep Self on the throne is to dethrone God. When you dethrone God, you are guilty of idolatry, and of course, that opens up a whole new set of problems!
Don’t let your husband’s sexual sin cause you to fall into the same trap that ensnared him.
Most women don’t understand that sex is not the issue. Pornography is just one way a person seeks to avoid pain by pursuing pleasure. We must all face the reality that our hearts are deceitful and cause us to look for band aids for our pain. But once you know that is a possibility, you can pray and God will help you be more watchful and alert.
God is more than willing to help us!