In a previous article, Solutions to Obscure Porn Hacks, I shared the details of what happened when I discovered my website had been hacked by the pornography industry.
If your marriage has been hacked by pornography, you can follow the steps below to clean up your relationship.
I hope you will take these lessons and apply them to your current situation immediately. Be sure the read the last step – not to discourage you – but to know porn hacks can’t always be solved in ten easy steps. God’s ways are sure, but not always as simple as we would like.
1. Don’t ignore or minimize the problem.
When I first got the news my site had been hacked, I took immediate action. Good idea! I went looking for evidence but sadly, couldn’t find any, so I quit. Bad idea! The devil’s schemes are seldom obvious. He is the master of deceit, so don’t expect to find his trail very easily. He lurks in the darkness and disguises himself as an angel of light. You will have to make a lot of hard and honest effort to unveil his handiwork.
“For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.”
2. Look for evidence and prove it.
When I got the notice from a second person, I again went looking for evidence and found none, but this time I DID NOT QUIT. I kept looking until I discovered the hacks were being used on mobile devices. I tested the evidence, and found it to be true.
“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.”
3. Guard your own heart.
I got angry and frustration was gnawing away at me every day. This led to a form of self-pity: “Why does this always happen to me. I’m trying to do right and the enemy is always taking me down.” Focusing on your “self” instead of your calling will derail you. Being a godly wife is your calling (ministry.)
“But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.”
4. Get over yourself!
Sin is crouching at your door, RULE over it. Recognizing self-pity caused me to take a reality check. Yes, the enemy is always trying to take me (and you) down. Get used to it!
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”
“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”
5. Get up and fight back!
How do you fight spiritual battles? Go to the Commander in Chief and get your orders. I prayed. I didn’t know what else to do and I know from personal experience I’m not wise enough to fight a ruthless and unseen enemy on my own. This should have been step one but I was focused on myself, my hardship, my emotions, etc., rather than on God. I was walking in the flesh rather than the Spirit. Go to God right at the outset.
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds…”
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
6. Search for answers.
As I researched on the Internet, I discovered I wasn’t the only one experiencing this problem. There were thousands others. And there were numerous coders available for hire to help me clean up my websites.
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”
7. Count the cost if you DON’T take action.
I wasn’t aware of it at first, but the coder discovered ALL my sites had been hacked. Perhaps if I had not quit when the problem was first discovered, my other sites may have been spared.
“Be diligent to know the state of your flocks, and attend to your herds.”
8. Make the sacrifice.
I spent hundreds of dollars to clean up my sites. It was an expensive sacrifice, but I consider it an investment. There are times I have to make personal sacrifices in order to help others in the family of God. If want to help other wives fight for their faith and marriages and become emotionally whole after suffering from the harmful effects of their husband’s pornography use, I have to be willing to sacrifice for their sakes.
“And I will very gladly spend and be spent for your souls.”
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and were thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.”
9. Stay alert.
The coder who fixed my sites had found “backdoors” in my websites where the hackers got in. He told me what I would need to do to keep those doors “locked” so the hackers couldn’t get back in the same way. The enemy will forever continue to stalk God’s children. You can’t afford to relax!
“Then the king of Israel sent someone to the place of which the man of God had told him. Thus he warned him, and he was watchful there, not just once or twice.”
10. Trouble is the only guarantee.
My coder couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t be hacked again. In fact, he warned me that it would be likely the hackers would find new ways to trouble me. So I stand warned but not daunted. God will be there for me if it happens again.
“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
Step 6 tells you to search for answers. I found a coding expert for the problems that were too big for me. I found somebody who understands coding better than me so I wouldn’t have to suffer from trial and error.
If your marriage has been hacked by pornography and you feel your problems are too big for you to face alone and you want to partner with somebody who has already suffered from trial error and can help you avoid the same mistakes, I may be the answer you are searching for.
Learn how I can help you here: Beyond Betrayal Blueprint Workshop at Home